Grist For The Rumor Mill
by Red Witch
Summary: For every answer, an even weirder question pops up for Shane Gooseman.


**There's a rumor going around that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters. That's actually true. Just a fic inspired by Delora 2047. Go check out her fics too! They're good! **

**Grist For The Rumor Mill**

"You know I've heard stories about how weird things get at BETA but I never believed them until now," Stingray smirked as he sat down at a cafeteria table with Shane, Niko, Doc, Zach, Waldo and Zozo.

"You have to love it when the vending machines get into fights with each other," Doc quipped as two vending machines were tossing sodas at each other and denting everything in sight.

"What are they fighting over **this **time?" Zozo asked. "It's not about politics again is it?"

"I don't think so," Doc said. "All I could translate were the words 'Tastes Great' and 'Less Filling'. Whatever that means."

"Two vending machines are trying to kill each other and still everyone is looking at me," Shane grumbled as he noticed a lot of people in the room were staring at the table instead of the vending machine fight.

"Hate to bruise your huge ego but it may not be you they're looking at," Stingray gave him a look. "It's me."

"You?" Shane raised an eyebrow. "What did you do now? It couldn't have been that bad. I haven't heard any explosions all day and there's no smell of smoke."

"Apparently I am going to be the new Vice President of the Board of Leaders," Stingray quipped.

"Are you?" Zozo asked. Everyone looked at him. "Come on. Out of all the insane things we've learned and have happened last week, you have to admit that's _somewhat_ plausible!"

"I know if you had told me that a few months ago that a Supertrooper evolved into a mermaid was the true cause of the Regeneration I wouldn't have believed it," Zach admitted. "Or that my wife would become a psychic and my son would get bionics like me."

"Not to mention the Board of Leaders was controlled by a secret society dedicated to enslaving alien life and responsible for genocide," Waldo added.

"That we'd end up with a space hippie for a new Premier whose presidential slogan is 'Let's Chill Out Dude'," Doc added.

"And of course we all can't forget the most **obvious** one!" Shane said bitterly. "Commander Walsh has a son and **I'm** it! You were all thinking that but no one had the guts to say it!"

"Shane I know this is hard for you," Niko said.

"Niko you have **no idea** how hard this is for me," Shane growled. Then he softened. "I'm sorry. It's just…I can't take all these looks and rumors flying around and how conversations suddenly stop the moment I enter a room."

"You're not exactly the only one dealing with rumors and stories," Stingray reminded him. "That bit about Cheyenne's dad is still floating around and your old crush on Darkstar."

"Oh stars I thought we dealt with that," Shane winced painfully.

"It's not like you knew Darkstar was your genetic sister back at Wolf Den," Zozo said. "And nothing happened between you two! Uh…It didn't…?"

"NO IT **DIDN'T!"** Shane barked at him.

"Easy Gooseman," Doc said. People were staring at them.

"Doc how would you feel if people said you used to date **your** insane sister?" Shane glared at him.

"**Which** insane sister?" Doc quipped. "No wait, they're all bad."

"And technically Darkstar was never really insane," Stingray sighed. "I was the crazy one. And I still am according to some people."

"Run with it," Doc said. "Seriously, people think the Series Five Rangers are nuts and because of that we get results."

"We **are** nuts and we get results because of it," Shane gave him a look.

"Potato, po-tato," Doc shrugged. "So what are you going to do Stingray?"

"I'm going to work in Security believe it or not," Stingray smirked. "Alien Protection Division. Can you believe it? A Supertrooper designed to fight aliens is going to protect them."

"Stranger things have happened," Doc said. "And we've seen 'em. Course not as strange as when Gooseman was able to turn into a Goose**woman…**"

"You should hear what some of the female rangers are saying about **that **in the locker room," Niko groaned.

"And some of the men," Zach admitted.

"I think I am actually missing the rumor saying that Kilbane was in love with me," Shane groaned.

"Hey Goose, I just thought of something," Zach said. "Remember last year and that business with Skoll? You know that wolf demon that wanted to take over the planet?"

"And whose DNA is inside my body?" Shane gave him a look. "Yeah Zach. I **remember**."

"But he's only a secondary donor," Zach said. "Walsh said you had **three** primary donors that make up to 90 percent of your DNA. Well we know about Cheyenne and Walsh. Who's the **third?**"

You could have heard a pin drop in the cafeteria. In fact every single ranger, technician and guest had stopped talking and heard that sentence. Even the vending machines stopped fighting. Everyone stared at Zach. Then at Goose. Dead silence.

Then a nervous cough from Ranger Allen. "You know…I always thought Ranger Gooseman looked a little like Clint Eastwood."

"I've thought that too!" A female ranger spoke up. "Maybe Walsh did do a little grave robbing!"

"I've heard he likes westerns," Ranger Allen shrugged.

"Oh come on!" Ranger Charles shouted. "You actually think that Commander Walsh stole celebrity DNA to make a Supertrooper? And that would fulfill some deranged fantasy about him having a child with a celebrity?"

"It's possible!" Ranger Allen said.

"It's stupid," Ranger Charles said. "It's clearly obvious that Walsh used one of the greatest athletes of all time. Larry Bird. I mean have you ever seen Gooseman play basketball? It makes sense!"

"That makes no sense at all!" Q-ball shouted. "Larry Bird? Come on! Based on Gooseman's uncanny tech savvy I would say that the mystery parent is clearly a technological genius. Like the great robot designer Anton Delabellano, or the mechanical genius Givearesti!"

"What about Nagata?" Another ranger asked. "He put his DNA into Darkstar and other Supertroopers? Why not Goose too?"

"No, I think he would have mentioned it by now if he had," Q-Ball said. "I mean the guy admitted to putting his DNA into at least a half dozen Supertroopers? Why hide one more? No, I'm certain that it's some other scientist that Gooseman is related to."

"Sorry Q but I think Allen is right," A technician said. "I mean come on! He's almost a spitting image of Clint Eastwood! He even sounds like him!"

"You know I thought that was just me," Another Ranger said.

"Yeah but he's really good on the basketball court," Ranger Charles said.

"He's got a point," Another ranger agreed.

"You are all crazy!" Zozo shouted. "What makes you think that Goose doesn't have any alien DNA?"

"Zozo don't **encourage** them!" Waldo barked. "Although I admit that is an intriguing possibility."

"Never even thought of that," Ranger Charles said.

"No you didn't, did you?" Zozo said. Everyone at the table glared at him. "What? If Walsh put demon DNA in Goose why not alien DNA?"

"He's got a point," A female ranger said.

"Well if he was an alien I think we can rule out Andorian or Kiwi," Ranger Flynn snorted. "What species is really good at blowing stuff up?"

"Besides human?" Waldo raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe Gooseman is part dolphin? He does have a knack with them," Another Ranger speculated.

"I am **not** part dolphin!" Shane barked.

"How do **you** know?" Ranger Charles asked. "For all we know Walsh could have gotten a sample of the Queen of the Crown's DNA and put it in you!"

"I AM **NOT** RELATED TO THE QUEEN OF THE CROWN!" Shane barked.

"Well what about some other Po Mutant? It's possible!" Ranger Charles asked.

"It's more likely that Goose is related to Lazarus Slade," Q-Ball said. "Wait…Didn't Slade work on some military project no one knew about twenty one years ago just before he went insane and turned traitor?"

"Yeah but no one knows what it was…" Zach looked at Shane. "You know the more I think about it, Slade does sound a lot like Commander Walsh with an accent."

"Well so does Wildfire but…" Q-Ball added. "Hold it. Wildfire did know about Walsh. Maybe…?"

"I AM **NOT** RELATED TO WILDFIRE CARSON, LAZARUS SLADE OR ANYONE ELSE ON THE GALAXY'S MOST WANTED LIST!" Shane roared. "OKAY MAYBE **ONE** PERSON BUT BESIDES WALSH…"

"But you don't know that for **sure**, do you?" Zach said the words before he realized it. Shane glared at him. "Oh boy…I should **not** have started this line of thought should I?"

"Maybe he is an alien and related to Captain Kidd?" Ranger Flynn coughed.

"What if Daisy O'Mega turned out to be a long lost sister or something?" Another ranger thought aloud.

"THANKS A **LOT** ZACHERY!" Shane roared as he stormed out of the room. "THANKS A FREAKING MILLION!"

"I am going to pay for that aren't I?" Zach blinked.

"Yeah you are," Stingray nodded.

CRASH!

"And it looks like Gooseman will probably pay for whatever it is he's breaking out there," Stingray blinked.

"Oh he is **not** having a good year is he?" Doc winced as the sound of something breaking echoed in the hallway.

"No, he is not," Niko sighed.


End file.
